2018 Eats, You Look The Same

Who else wants to get up and run away from the dinner table when the conversation is about how we shouldn’t enjoy said dinner due to some nutrition nonsense traced back to a cover of a fitness magazine at the grocery store checkout? I’m raising both hands while running away.

My least favorite part about new years is the diet convo, food shaming, body hating, scale -focused shenanigans.  I see myself in this post and the dietitian who wrote it. A lot.

On the otha’ hand, my favorite part is not being affected by this while making goals that will actually better my soul. But I don’t believe goals should kick off on a January 1 or Monday or 7am. Forever vowing to initiate behaviors to be a better person on Thursday afternoons in March!

Anywayzzz, I thought I’d share what I’ve been eating as I’m sipping on a dreamy gingerbread latte. Because my meals and snacks look the same as any other day and any other year. They’re not more green or smaller portioned or dessert-less. They’re the flavors I crave, the textures I love and the substance that brings me together with those I love. They’re what enables me to be a better person on Thursday afternoons in March, a future mama, a vacation admirer and best friend to those I live a plane ticket away from.


Grilled cheese with danish fontina, boursin and pesto on rosemary thyme bread. “This is the best grilled cheese I’ve ever had” – my beautiful sister.

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Assortment of macarons! Perfect for having a sampling party! The three of us liked the birthday cake (bright blue fella in the lower right corner) the best.


Pesto tilapia, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and quinoa. Topped with hot sauce after I snagged the pic. I made triple for lunch leftovers…always a good plan!


New Years Day slow morning breakfast = whole grain frozen waffles with sunflower butter and boysenberry jam, grapefruit slices and unpictured iced coffee.


Sick girl dinner of roasted red pepper soup with white cheddar cheez-its and microwaved frozen green beans. White cheddar cheez-its over alllll other varieties!


Acai bowl at a new local juicery with one of my best friends! Should’ve gotten the almond butter on top for increased satiety buuut it was still tasty!


A visit to Grandma’s house = endless leftover Christmas cookies. Chocolate crinkle and a good ole’ sugar cookie is what I grabbed.


Ugliest yet tastiest salad consisted of spring mix, grape tomatoes, broccoli, bell pepper, avocado, goat cheese, tuna and white balsamic vinaigrette! Followed by whole grain pita because this was lacking on carbs.


Work break snack of a chocolate peppermint covered pretzel! Perks of living with a teacher whose students adore her aka shower her with goodies.


Edamame noodles with roasted veggies, coconut aminos and extra hot sauce to clear the sinuses. Fuzzy leopard socks for added coziness.

I found peppermint ice cream past the holidays!!! My roommate and I were on a hunt because grocery stores stopped restocking it once January hit. I added on m&ms one night and a dark chocolate black bean brownie another because chocolate complements it best duhhh.

Much more in between these pics but that’s all for now! Nothing fancy or complicated. Gimme ease and takeout and a sweet way to end the day!


And Then I Lost Interest

Roughly three months have passed since I decided not to continue the path towards becoming a dietitian. I did not anticipate anything in my life to change except for my job position. And then I lost interest.

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Interest in learning more about food and how the body responds to it. Interest in expanding my knowledge of phytonutrients and the benefits of adding them to your diet. Interest in knowing all the physical and psychological sides to disorders and daily processes. I simply don’t care to know more about blood sugar, metabolic rates and intolerances. I’ll take my coffee, enjoy it however brings me joy in that moment and sip it in my jungle of a view, why thank you!

I’m all for health. However, viewing food as a manipulative tool to achieve wellness isn’t for me. It’s just one category of the complex mix…our society doesn’t grasp that all too well. Howzabout we place equal attention on social vibrancy and alllll the sleep and a fruitful spiritual life?


Recently, I’ve been wishing that I could forget some of what I was taught. Sure, it comes in handy as I’m able to take care of myself better but in a different sort of sense than people assume when they view me as the “the healthy girl”. I pay attention to getting an adequate amount of vitamins, minerals and macronutrients so my body can function optimally. I also know that it has a sharp mechanism in place where it will communicate my needs to me. I leave it at that. No stress or guilt attached.

I’m not qualified to offer any sort of advice. I have crazy respect for those professionals who spent years and thousands of hours learning the intricacies of it all on a cellular level. But I have lost all the interest necessary to go into that career. Last week was the first time I processed that out loud. 

My coworker asked how I was doing in my new PR role and if I was missing dietetics. She laughed as I went on a tangent about how food is just food and on the most basic level, it’s essential in servings its purpose as a biological need but highly over complexed and superficial in the grand scheme o thangs.


Yes, I ultimately wanted to help people in significant matters with endocrine and reproductive health but with the qualifications I have now, hyper focusing on food is not going to do me well. But this girl and all other relationships I grow in over toast flights will.

I unfollowed all of my former favorite podcasts related to food and body, I don’t have any desire to read most dietitian blogs anymore and I would so rather meander through my apartment halls while on the phone with my college roommate than spend a good chunk of time in my kitchen roasting up vegetables and making no bake bites for the week.

I still love vegetables and I had planned on adapting these tonight to make pumpkin cranberry dark chocolate chips balls until I decided to blog instead. Both are delicious and crave-able and make tasty snacks. But what’s a cauliflower to a human person?! Sorry bout your luck, little man. Man in that sentence does not refer to a breathing one.

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Shore thang, the creativity of food continues to intrigues me. I’m still thinking about these lamb meatballs with herbed rice, cabbage, pickled daikon, cilantro lime hummus and root veggie chips with sriracha aioli two weeks after I enjoyed it.  A wee tip for ya: don’t leave the empty bowl in your car unless you want your vehicle to smell like sriracha aioli. I got an air freshener called Bora Bora Waters as a result and I now ask anyone who steps foot in my car if they feel like they’re in Bora Bora.

When I’m not ordering oh so memorable bowls, I find cooking to be relaxing and innovative and a BLAST. I caught up on Greys Anatomy yesterday with this (half eaten) french toast. I was tempted to make it all over again for the sheer bliss that slow mornings in the kitchen bring me.

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I’ll wake up early, drive out of my way and wait in a 20 minute line for my favorite egg sandwich to ever ever exist inside this foxy bag.


I’ll sample the cinnamon roll apple crisp and the most rich peanut butter pie to grace this planet at Thanksgiving pie night. This spread was all made by two dear friends who find joy in bringing people together over pie. Bliss.


I’ll highly suggest a new vegan burger spot I found on Yelp to a friend and say thank you time a million and 3/4 because I drag her around to all my favorite foodie spots. She’s such a sport.

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I’ll make it my obligation to make sure my brother’s friend only has the best meals while visiting from Arizona. Two thumbs up for teriyaki bowls and bang bang nachos!


I’ll order this vietnamese iced coffee for the sole purpose of my job’s Insta while loving that fact that it was an excuse to sit me in my third favorite coffee shop. Yup, I have a list.


Because we are human and we’re made to enjoy life’s little pleasures. The pleasures that bring us around a table with loved ones and the ones where I wind down the night all by myself with the coziest of blankets and a glass of wine.

I may have lost a ton of interest in this category but that’s only cleared out space for other endeavors. While brushing our teeth the other night, my roommate and I shared our goals for 2018 (yaaa, we could barely understand each other with mouths full of foamy toothpaste but it was flawless). I decided on focusing on a single fella that gets me lit up but will also require a crazy investment with lots of challenge ahead.

I’m absolutely elated to give my interests a makeover.


Keep on Comin’, Avocado Craze

I have just been smiling at the avocados on my Instagram feed, in the news and as the topic of podcasts. It has become one trendy green fruit and I’m cheering it on with pom poms!

Not because avocados are photogenic on my picture-ready plate. Not because I think monounsaturated fats hold moral superiority. And most definitely, not because I adhere to a “clean” diet. No no, not at all!!

I am loving this craze because I like to think of avocados as one of the medicines that healed me. Food and especially those rich in fat did. Helllllo there, salted peanut butter and brambleberry crisp cone in one hand as I use my other to talk to my gal pal during our German Village stroll.


I am not going to get too TMI on this space but I’ve seen the doc because one of my body’s 11 systems stopped working in its entirety. Which was caused by my hypothalamus telling a few of my hormones to stop functioning as these hormones ought to. Lucky for me, this doctor didn’t agree with others who told me to “just go on the pill and you’ll be golden”. Golden is my word choice but you know what I mean.

A deficiency in birth control is not why my body was choosing what to sacrifice in order to keep my heart beating. Synthetic hormones are not the real deal and should not be treated as such. No amount of drugs could heal my underlying problems but why go that sticky and unforeseeable route when I have access to the easiest, quickest and perfectly packaged fix to everything under the fiery star that stands 93 miles away? That would be called the sun.

As I said in my previous post, I fully recognize that I am not a credentialed health care professional. However, I have my personal story to contribute and have read a fair amount of research because I needed to make sense of what was occurring and how I could fix this problem for my sustainable well-being.

I resisted the band-aid solution and am so very grateful to my intuition, self-education and acknowledgement of God’s plan for the female body for that choice. It was my worst fear to push this issue off and continue dragging my body through intense stress until I try (and would’ve 183% failed) to bring babies into this world down zeee road. I couldn’t imagine selfishly telling my future husband, “Hey bud, we can’t have children because I didn’t take care of myself well enough. Sorry bout your luck.”


This particular doctor told me to increase my intake with an emphasis on consuming enough fat from foods such as avocados, nuts, dark chocolate and ice cream. Because in case you were unaware, we all need fat to synthesize our hormones.

YES MA’AM. The caps are to celebrate my happiness for finding a MD who looked at my lifestyle and not just my test results. And that fats have become my favorite macronutrient. I now eat avocado daily, have a nut butter collection of 6 jars (formally 12 but my past roommate put me on a rightful ban for my excessiveness hehee), hardly go a day without dark chocolate and rounded up the troops at my family reunion last weekend to visit an ice cream shop that serves homemade IPA ice cream. IPA ICE CREAM!!

It wasn’t a fa(s)t and furious road to healthy inner-workings. Smooth like sunflower butter or beer ice cream or the creamiest avocado you ever did see is not how I would describe this process. Despite following these orders, time kept passing and I was losing hope. But my initial idea of what my body needed wasn’t oh so accurate. Everything fell into place with alllll the flexibility.


Through plenty plenty plenty of trial and error, I now understand what my body requires to function as one cohesive kickazzzing unit, to have enough energy to get outside on a jaw-dropping running trail and to be my fully energetic, smiley self that thrives on puns and early morns and talking to my super cool aunt about her Chilean pottery. Being this in tune with my needs that change every single day is like woooAHmazing. But what isn’t that 12 letter adjective are the diet-focused messages that we’re surrounded by.

Just because avocados are the craze today doesn’t mean that our society has collectively accepted that fat on an individual’s body serves an important purpose. Diet-culture tells me that the fat on mine (or graduation cap?!) can be gone in 14 days if I could just simply eat a restricted diet and adhere to a Pinterest toning exercise plan. Probably should get a personal trainer who has never heard of intuitive movement too. Actually, I won’t be able to be a mother without it and will have osteoporosis at age 50 at that rate so byyyye. And this is no exaggeration.

My most recent birthday celebration was inspired by my favorite way to eat avocados (never ever less than 1/2 in one sitting is my motto!). A good tossing of full-fat dressing is key in my salads so that the fat-soluble vitamins in my veggies are actually absorbed by my body. The nut butter paired with my overnight oats, toast, smoothies, medjool dates and dark chocolate bar isn’t capped at two tablespoons in one day. HeccckNO.


Endless yesses to whipping up squid ink pasta made from scratch paired with a cream sauce, scallops and asparagus in a cooking class earlier this month. With a grilled endive and radicchio salad beforehand, a peach bellini sorbet afterwards and memories made with friends and strangers in between. Plus a snack when I got home because of satiety. Swooooon to the moon!

Who knows if this avocado frenzy is here to stay. I wouldn’t care if it all faded away tomorrow. My food philosophy isn’t fluctuating with the trends that millennials double dutch jump on. I’ll take your entire stock of ripe Hass avocados AND a bloodstream full of hormones AND a fabulously colorful life over fatphobia and prescriptions, please and thank ya!


One Unusual Quality I Look For In Friends

In the two months that I’ve been home, I’ve been surrounded by new faces. Not so much new friends but friends who I haven’t gone on strawberry lemonade donut and iced coffee dates with since high school.


I have spent a few days in the past two months with one friend in particular who I have noticed a certain quality in – one that I wish wasn’t so uncommon. Through four square dominating, rooftop drinking and lemon pizza (my new favorite topping!!) sharing, it has become apparent that in addition to her constant humor, selfless nature and contagious joy, she displays a healthy relationship with food.

I am fortunate to have a few other friends who I can also identify as normal eaters. The ones who don’t categorize their food into good and bad categories, don’t think talking about cutting dairy in hopes of a new body size is an engaging conversation and don’t shame themselves or others over food choices, body image and exercise regimens. But it is devastating to me that I should be elated when I discover that someone doesn’t partake in these discussions.

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This blog post was sparked because although I notice disordered (sadly, turned normalized) comments countless times a day, I’ve been to multiple barbecues this month. Ya know, the kinds with hamburgers, cheesy potatoes, chips and dip, fruit, veggies and many dessert offerings. I always happily help myself to what I want in that moment and float to wherever an empty chair is.

Over and over and over again, I’ve heard comments about how people never eat mac and cheese so they “need to eat up now” while it’s being served, how they need to get away from the food table because they “don’t have self control”, how they worked out that morning so they “allowed themselves to have whatever they want” and how the carbohydrates on their plate will go straight to their xyz body part.


I will never understand why people would rather pick themselves apart rather than discuss their life happenings, goals bigger than the sky, excitement when Natasha Bedingfield comes on (see above pic hehee), nail polish…practically anything other than their fear of gluten and the like. I try to always be compassionate because I know there are deeper issues present. I am aware of the taxing cultural messages we are engrossed in and how the body functions when it is listened to and treated with respect…or not. In these ugly and all too familiar settings, I simply add in a single comment about eating both mindfully and joyfully and do my best to shift the conversation to something that will create smiles on the faces of those around me.

I know I’m sensitive to this information because of my internship turned volunteer work with an eating disorder treatment center and the dietitian bloggers and podcasters I read/listen to who focus on intuitive eating, health at every size and joyful movement (I list my faves here!). However, with this experience and consuming their content backed by research, I can’t simply erase it from my mind and frankly, it would be a disservice to the nonprofit that I communicate on behalf on to behave contrarily to their world-renowned work.


Being exposed to this fatphobia dialogue has only gotten more difficult because when my career goals changed last summer and I now inform people of my five-year plan that ends in me (hopefully) passing the RD exam, the shame heightens. “Ker, can I be your first client? I am in desperate need of a meal plan”, “You’re probably judging what I’m eating, aren’t you?”, “Woaah, do I see ______ on your plate. I didn’t think future dietitians ate fried food”.

I can give you 17 more examples but that’s not necessary. I’ve prepared myself to receive these for the rest of my life and have even heard that dietitians lie about their real profession because they are tired of these comments. Send your ideas my way but I’m thinking I’ll take on librarian status! I’m kidding buuut we’ll get there when we get there. Either way, I fully understand that I have zero credentials, my current nutrition education is limited and I won’t be a dietitian for a long long time, if that is even what’s in God’s plan for me.


Sure, it gives me hope for my future goal of nutrition counseling that I will never be without work. It is obvious to me that folks across generations have practically forgotten how to eat in accord to their personal needs because of all of the marketing they give in to and dieting behaviors they have added to their daily routine. But that is the only positive side to it and well, not positive in the slightest because I would rather be without work than live in a toxic world.

This is why it is so SO refreshing to spend good, sweet quality time with friends who never linger on such shenanigans. I typically don’t know the complete picture of their past and current relationship with food and exercise, their mental health status, their stress levels and endless other factors that may be influencing their remarks. But I do know that an apple pie popsicle made with local ingredients at a farmer’s market shared with good company tastes incredibly dreeeamier if I’m eating it with people who don’t make diet-y remarks about the sugar content of this treat. Who wants to join the popsicle party?!!


So I’m here. Left with a desire to make more friends who have a healthy relationship with food but crazy thankful for those close to me that do. I certainly have a place in this tug of war to do my best to be that confidant. One who never tears myself and my food choices apart and especially, not when others are around and can be impacted.

Because these comments about ourselves, family members, dear friends and complete strangers are not ok. We were given one divinely crafted body and the soul within it is communicated by our external ways. I highly recommend this book if you are interested in understanding how everything we do is literally extraordinary because it’s an extension of our soul. Altogether, if we shift our worldview to this standard, diet-culture will be long gone. Oh would I love to see it come to an end.


Summertime Bites!

In my last WIAW, I shared how I a little uncertain on how I wanted to carry on showcasing the food and drinks in my day. Wellllz, instead of a full day of eats, I’m just going to throw a loose idea of what I’ve been enjoying this summer into this post with no timeline attached. I like this much better. Woo!

Mini coconut milk ice cream sandwiches
TOAST! I’ve been into one sweet slice and one savory.
Acai bowl from a local coffee shop. Topped with banana, bloobs, coconut and granola. I may bring my own nut butter next time because it was lacking on the fats but still tasty!
Off-brand La Croix, yes please!
Looks like vanilla. I’m not a vanilla girl. I’m a peanut butter girl!
Rose lemonade topped with espresso. Strange yet AHMAZING
Peaches and greek yogurt stuffed french toast!
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Beer flight!
Pad thai with edamame noodles (Costco find!), onions, peppers, zucchini. egg and a sriracha peanut sauce
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Ice cream sandwich with peanut butter cookies, strawberry ice cream and sprinkles!
Greek brown rice pasta salad with feta, chicken, spinach, cucumbers, red onion, tomatoes and peppers!
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My grandma’s signature cinnamon rolls topped with sprinkles and a candle for miii birthday!
Beet chips with hummus
Maple cinnamon overnight oats topped with a diced peach and pecans