Two Decades of Total Singlehood

Whenever I come home from college, one of the first things my dad asks me is, “Have you met any guys?”. Yes, dad but no to the intention of your question.

All of my younger siblings have been dating the same person for quite long periods of time. My older sister was in a serious relationship for several years. Milestones would come and I was always on the planning side and never the one to experience them firsthand.

In high school, I even made up a silly name for my ongoing status. I was a member of the solo squad. There was most definitely a hand sign that accompanied it. I actually just showed my friend the other day because let’s take wild guess, I’m still a member!

I don’t feel a single (no pun intended) ounce of emabarassment when I tell people I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve seen a lot of girls tense up when they have to admit it and it makes me truly sad for them.

I have mastered the art of being alone but never lonely. I am aware of the fullness of my presence and not focused on the absence of good night texts, #mcm or dinner dates.

To me, it has to come from within. You have to love yourself first. This is thrown around maybe too much but the reason why people say it all the time is because it is true. You can’t give love away if you don’t have any in stock.

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I have chosen to make Jesus my sidekick and not chase after someone who will make me feel fulfilled for a couple weeks, maybe months. I trust that if I keep on going through this journey with my absolute priority on my Savior, He will take care of all the rest. I am independent but I place all of my dependence on Him.

He completes me and no person ever will. Sorry, future husband. Actually I’m not sorry because if he expects that, that mister is not the one. I am my own person but I hope that there is another one out there to show me more Jesus and bring me more joy that I can ever do on my own.

My dad tells me, “Your standards are so high that mediocracy won’t fly.” His rhyme isn’t the only comment that I get about them being rather tall on the totem pole. Screen Shot 2015-06-02 at 12.21.21 AM My response is the same each and every time. “Welp, I am not lowering them.” I respect myself too much to let important values go just because he meets some of the requirements.

By no means do I have a laundry list but I know what I deserve, even if I have never been labeled as somebody’s girlfriend. The only physical thing is that I would prefer him to never wear cargo shorts. However, that golden rule of college guy style can be taught so there are no worries there.

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I don’t view myself as unwanted. There have been a few folks that have crossed my path and I simply was not interested. I am not placing myself on a pedestal whatsoever but if I really wanted a boyfriend, I would’ve settled by now.

My friends and family have been killing it in the companion department and I can’t thank them enough for their loads of love. Not to mention, they have allowed me to become an expert at third wheeling. And let me tell ya, you don’t know the definition of third wheeling until you do it with triplets!

I don’t sit around wishing that I had someone to spend my day with because I am perpetually busy and have too many interest for my own good. I have passions and goals and I am chasing after them. 6eb70960ee0eb5948e14b2d8af27ac6b I find bliss in a phone that only lights up when one of my three Instragrams gets a notification. (Personal, work and a student organization if you were curious). Eating alone doesn’t phase me and I enjoy the tranquility of having a weekend without any plans.

I am a do it yourself type of girl and I’m not talking about crafts (even though I enjoy a good glue gun). I like my privacy but I’m not in isolation. I enjoy me time but I love being surrounded with people that make me smile until my cheeks hurts. I may not be the go-to person for relationship advice but I am all ears, all the time. c3f98e7155979856e77ed623fbd5156a I’m in no rush to enter into my first relationship but if I want to make use of my loooong list of baby names in my phone (c’mon, we all have them), I might want to begin. I should’ve started 10 years ago while hoping for my mother’s natural ability to have multiples.  Maybe then I would’ve been able to cross all of those names off.

In all seriousness, I love being single but I am not closed-minded. I am at peace with my life even though I have a ways to go. Today marks two decades of total singlehood. Those two decades have treated me well and the ones to come are graciously not in my hands.

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3 thoughts on “Two Decades of Total Singlehood

  1. Hey Kerigan! I just stumbled across your blog and I actually know your younger siblings =) Anyway…this is an amazing post. So, so, so true and it’s so amazing that God has given you the insights that He has.

    I’m a little bit younger than you, and have been single “all” (makes it sound so long) my life. But honestly? I love it, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’ve seen so many people get lost in their girlfriend/boyfriend…especially in high school. And, let’s be real, how can a relationship in high school actually be that serious? Most don’t even stick together through college, let alone get married. And isn’t that the purpose of being in a relationship in the first place? Also, I feel like the majority of high schoolers are just in a relationship just to be in a relationship…just for the sake of tweeting to each other and Instagram posts, you know? That’s not how God designed dating to be.

    Staying single has been a conscious choice for me throughout my high school years, because I don’t think I’m at a place where God wants me to be in a relationship. I don’t know myself well enough, I don’t know Him well enough…He’s preparing me for what’s to come. So many people see the “single years” as a burden…but really, they can be so full and fruitful and a really beautiful time of life.

    Happy birthday, Kerigan! So glad I found your blog, looking forward to more of your incredible wisdom. Prayers for your twentieth year of life!! =)

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    1. Wow, you made my day!! I absolutely know who you are and I’ve heard nothing but amazing things! I discovered your blog posts on LifeTeen a couple months ago and immediately texted Brennan. I just skimmed your personal blog and I am in love!! I can’t wait to sit down and read for hours!

      Your personal experience and insight is so inspiring! It is refreshing to find people who share the same outlook on these topics that I do. It seems rare these days and I even question my own values sometimes because I feel like the only one.

      I actually had a sentence in there about dating being an audition for marriage but I took it out in attempt to shorten my never-ending mind full of thoughts haha! I know there isn’t a huge age gap between us but wish I had the wisdom you have at your age. That is truly a gift!

      Just like you, I am loving every second of my single life. I don’t know if my time to be in a relationship is anytime soon because of your same reasons.

      Thank you for your generosity and birthday prayers!! I hope to see you soon!

      Like

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