After a memorable weekend of getting inducted into my high school’s Hall of Families with my role models, eating the best quesadilla I have ever had with cool soccer parents, spending quality time with Popcorn Pat (my dad), getting a massive hug from the nicest woman after she completed a 5k, meeting the girl who played the voice of young Anna in Frozen, catching up with my best friends from home over mayan mochas and having a great life conversation with a Trader Joe’s cashier, I am back to reality. But that jam-packed 48 hours was reality and I am elated!
Why do you ask? Let me tell ya! Because I am living in the moment and it has not always been that way.
I’ve mentioned before that I am type A. This is still very true but I used to be a Duracell AAA with my strict schedule and overboard attention to detail. I wanted everything to be flawless but nothing was ever good enough for my standards. I was meeting my goals on paper but the sense of accomplishment was absent. My life was completely and selfishly mine and I did not accept that God may have had other ideas for me.
I can’t pinpoint how I fell into this pit or when I transitioned out of it, but I have released that rigid lifestyle. I don’t wish it on anyone and I can assure myself and you that I will never return to that fatal routine.
I still take pleasure in a good sticky note written in a Pilot Precise V5 Extra Fine Rolling Ball pen but the purpose of my day is not to cross every bullet point off. I use lists as a guide and not a step by step lifeline. I refuse to be a slave to my handwriting ever again as well as my mind that was stuck in perfectionism.
I made the new decision to do things because I want to, not because I have to. It clicked that I have the power to make renovations to my obligations and turn them into satisfactions. I am going to add one more “tion” to that thought because it requires caution.
Prioritizing my well-being on the basis of happiness was not a concrete or logical way to make significant decisions. It takes a big leap to leave things that have created a sense of comfort and control. But if you truly understand that they are causing more harm than good, abandoning them is concrete and logical. Doubt of your decision will be by your side and you may question if anything can fill the void. However, God is always by your side and He alone satisfies.
This past semester, I stayed up in the library with great friends past what my old self would allow, procrastinated slightly (completed an assignment two nights before it was due instead of four or five) and even became unusually happy when I forgot to do something because that was the rarest things for me a year ago. Spontaneity is creeping into my life and it is a magnificent addition to my day!
I now view everything as an opportunity to learn new things, meet new people, grow within myself and acknowledge that God has an intricate plan for me. A couple weeks ago, my friend was telling me that she had to study for a nursing test. I corrected her and enthusiastically said, “You get to study for a nursing test!!”. She didn’t agree with that outlook and I understand it doesn’t fit most people’s mindsets but it works for me!
Like Tai in Clueless, I am rollin’ with the homies. I am experiencing freedom in a whole new way that I thought was never possible for me to achieve! I celebrate small victories even when that includes “I didn’t get the highest score in the class on this exam!”
Here is my take-away: if you aren’t content with your life, do something! Personal finance expert, Nathan W. Morris, said “Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.” There is no reason that your masterpiece needs to be cluttered with things that bring you anything but happiness. Be cognizant of your potential and the joy-filled life that you deserve!
Nobody is forcing you to do anything that you choose to. It may seem like pressure is placed on you but those who truly love you want you to be happy! This statement sounds so cliché but it is entirely true. If you don’t believe that, I want you to be happy! You have at least one person on your side but when it all comes down to it, that one person must be yourself.